Updated: Dec 28, 2020
CONNECT - CAPABLE - COUNT - COURAGE
Alfred Adler, the father of individual psychology, wrote about the Crucial C's. People need to feel connected, capable, that they count, and that they have courage to feel stable and secure in themselves and in relationships with others.
Everyone needs to feel connected in order to form healthy relationships and bonds. The first people babies connect with are their parents. When a strong and secure attachment is formed, kids are more likely to have their need for connection met.
A person strives to feel capable, to feel he or she has the capacity to acquire skills and accomplish goals. As young people grow and mature, they increase their knowledge, skills, and abilities and find a place in society where they can feel competent and independent. Parents can support this need by allowing children to do things on their own...even if it takes extra time and energy.
Everyone needs to feel feel significant, to feel that he or she counts. Kids want to know that he or she matters in a unique way, that his or her existence makes a difference. As a young person grows into an adult, he or she continues to seek out relationships and opportunities where he or she feels significant and capable of making a difference.
Courage is a sign of resilience, hope, and bravery. When in an emotionally safe environment, children have the courage to try new things, make mistakes, and to be imperfect. Parents create this environment through nurturing and encouraging their kids.
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